I think I do have a follow up, as it is confusing too | 1being

I think I do have a follow up, as it is confusing too. Sometimes other-selves may perceive things as arrogant that aren’t. And it’s hard for me to discern because I want to take into consideration how the other-self feels, and have them know that I don’t think that I’m better than them. So the question is, is there a way to be sure that you’re not being arrogant? Q’uo

We are those of Q’uo, and we find that there is no objective way to know most anything in your world with regards to consciousness; which isn’t to counsel the abandonment of discernment and reaching conclusions through analysis and experimentation. It is, though, however, to point to the subjective nature of one’s perceptions and one’s perceptions of another, and the fluid, multi-faceted way that even words and concepts are used.

What is arrogant to one person may be something entirely different to another. Perhaps those two are both seeing the same thing and reaching different conclusions. Perhaps they are seeing two [different] things entirely. It is a world of non-understanding in a darkened environment.

But to the self who is attempting to understand the reactions that others may have to the self, it is always helpful to consider those [reactions] for the self. Perhaps those other reactions have no seeming roots in or connections to the self and its behaviors. Perhaps those reactions are a projection upon the part of the other-self, or selves, a reflection much more of their perception of the world, rather than how the self is showing up in the world.

Or perhaps the reactions offer something helpful or even vital in the form of the mirror to the self. For this is the fundamental significant portion of interpersonal relationships and their purpose in offering the mirror. That mirror may come in the form of the outwardly articulated communication to the self. But even more fundamentally, the mirror comes by the way the self reacts to the other-self. For it is in the reactions, the responses, the choices and decisions one makes as a result of being catalyzed by the other-self, that the self may see the fruit of its own beingness and who it is.

For instance, the self may be convinced that it is an eternally peaceful being who loves all beings unconditionally. And then, say, in your classic example, be cut off on the road and find the fist and the middle finger and the shouts being offered to the other-self. Thus, through this moment of mirroring, the self has seen that, well, there is indeed anger within the self, and so on.

But in this particular case, our sister, it is, of course, for you to discern how best to approach this dynamic. Some basic suggestions may include the direct inquiry with the other-self, or selves. “Why is it that you think or act this way?” Followed by reflection upon the self, and asking if indeed there is any self-ownership that needs to be undertaken; if indeed there is any adjustment to behavior that needs to be made; if indeed there is greater sensitivity needing to be exercised.

Is the self really listening to the needs of the other-self and attempting to meet those accordingly? Or is the self seeking to impose their own understanding upon the other-self? Or perhaps upon completion of all this analysis, the self realizes and comes to a conclusion that, indeed, they have not misstepped or imposed or infringed, but rather, this other-self is having a reaction that may be more indicative of their own limitations of perception.

In each case, of course, the response is love and the attempt to serve the self as the other-self’s needs, even if, as risky and complicated as this territory is, it is discerned to be a function of projection of some level. Love is the response, love and acceptance.

Whether one embarks upon an attempt to find mutual clarity, to find what is true between the two-selves, is a choice for those two-selves to make. This is a common feature of the landscape of the intimate relationship as this instrument knows well. The question of whose distortions are whose? Is the other-self projecting, or is the other-self, seeing the self clearly?

These can be tangled dynamics, but with the heart open to loving acceptance, and the blue ray fired up, and the seeing of self and other with compassion and clarity, mutual dialogue can be engaged in mutual sensitivity to find out what is true, if indeed there is a willing partner on the other side.

But if not, the self must take that catalyst alone into their own interior and work with it, and work with it to understand the self. To find if adjustments need made, or if something is being revealed about the self. To accept this catalyst and to move forward knowing that, whatever the perception of the other-self, however accurate or distorted, that one’s own self is forever an entity independent of the perceptions of other-selves and free to chart their course of seeking the One Infinite Creator and serving others.